SEAN PHILLIPS MARINES
(warning… language)
The old adage of many are called but few are chosen, is a flawed idea. Every high school senior is solicited by the military. Few have the balls to actually serve our Country in such a capacity.
I knew since I was seven years old that I was going to join the Marines. My friend’s older brother came home for Christmas and I remember thinking ‘there is something so incredibly powerful about him.’ I entertained the idea of the other branches, but none would be as intense as the Marines.
I got really lucky. The Marines discovered I had a brain… offered me the options for counter-intelligence, linguistics and well anything. I guess I wasn’t all that smart… I opted to be a
Presidential Bullet-stopper for Presidents George H.W. Bush and William J. Clinton. But, my military experience was just an extension of my childhood. I met a lot of really cool people. I also met a lot of really bad people. The adrenaline rush of running towards someone pointing a gun at me, or feeling the air crack next to me as a bullet missed me (yet the euphoria causing my heart to skip a beat, that was just awesome–and it was just an off-duty experience in the lovely quarter of Southeast DC.) making some reporter or overly ambitious writer piss their pants, or scaring the shit out of my superiors dumb enough to test my field knowledge… fun, but I was just a kid.
I was only a rifle sharp shooter. I was a right-handed pistol expert and a left-handed pistol marksman(it got a little boring with my right hand, so I worked on my left). Never went anywhere too cool, that I should write about. I did go to Georgetown, when it was still a mile and a half strip of bars and crowds til 2am 7 days a week. Learned to drive a stick, being the eternal designated driver. Broke my first neck(Well, I guess it wasn’t mine. It belonged to someone else.) in March of 1992. I think the best part of the military, was what happened away from work. Crazy parties with fights, guns, midget gangsters (they don’t like being asked if they know Gary Coleman or Webster), 300 pound transvestites, toothless homeless women offering oral for $2, Captain Lou Albano in O.C., stealing women from Crossen, getting the coolest birthday present ever from Rex(chapman), Lenny’s truck with ‘power’ steering and amazing biceps(awesome workouts), Doc/Swope’s ‘Catch the Hammer, the giants Blaine and Johnson, OC with Brook and Baraka (first and only time someone called me a big ass Nigga), Crossen trying to steal a girl from me “Flipps is a virgin.” Yeah that’s what you tell a girl to turn her off (Jen, Cyndi, Amy, Lisa), watching Crossen get pissed because a smokin’ hot girl at Dickson’s party wasn’t interested in anything he had to say but she came up to me grabbed my finger and started sucking it in front of everyone and told me she wanted to give me head. [[ I said, "No thank you." I guess something was seriously wrong with me... I was interested in some other girl.]] Louie’s double quadruple burgers, and denying the XO behind me two doubles. Telling the XO I needed to start a new cycle (steroids) and pissing off everyone who was juicing, I wasn’t. Benching 345 for cool-down reps, pissing off the Mic. Running a 15:48 (3mile)with shin splints. Running a 17:12(3mile) drunk. Running an 18:41(3mile) hungover. Push-up king(463) after PFT and double-grinder. Dancing in front of a Drill Instructor because I forgot how to ask permission to pass, singing “umm-umm-umm-uhhhhh-crap-I-forgot”… trying not to fall asleep during class in bootcamp and asking, “can I go push?” Watching Mark get bent, looking at the DI in the eye, then jumped in to the routine. Drill Instructor asked the platoon, “Who here thinks they can kick my ass?” I jumped forward. 71 pullups-no kip. Knight’s food. Giampapa’s “Flipps, you gotta keep me away from Crossen that mother fucker is going to give me a heart-attack. He has no loyalty. Stabs me in the god-dang (he watched his GDs around me and thought this was a nice gesture) back.” Finished the marine experience working 7am-11am in weapons procurement, once or twice a week. (Hydratherapy 5 times a week, physical therapy 3 times a week),.. oh and trying to make a complaint of sexual harassment in front of a few hundred Jar heads (when I mentioned the female doctor’s name, the CO said, “We should all be that lucky.”), Captain Knepp (female officer that everyone thought was hot) catching me saluting her as I said, “I’m Horny Ma’am.”(if you say it just right, it sounds like ‘Good morning ma’am’.. but I stupidly said it slow and froze) She laughed. “Good for you Marine! Go get some.”
Oddly, I don’t remember any of that… I have a couple of journals, about the whole Marine experience… these thoughts seemed entertaining.
